On feeling old.

tmg-article_default_mobiletonight, i suddenly thought of someone i met while doing continued education a handful of years back. this nice young boy who must have thought i was his age. he waited for me after our math final (when he was done a long time before me). as we walked down the hall, we talked about the hard questions on the exam, how we had tried to solve them, spoke of our next semester, and then – to my surprise, he asked me for my number.

i should have told him then and there that i was probably 10 years older than him. but i was at a loss for words and couldn’t think of how to communicate this in a way that wouldn’t be hurtful, or embarrassing to him or myself. i opted for connecting on facebook instead – which he seemed open to.

i’m pretty sure the moment he saw my fb he knew that i was older, that i was with someone steady, and then the year i turned 30, i posted a bday album titled, “hello. i am 30.” i was hoping he would see that. it probably gave him a shock.

and then a couple years after, i got married – so he must have known by then.

i always did think he was a very nice kid. he seemed to be active, healthy, came from a good, loving family. maybe in another life, there might have been a chance – haha.  i always hope he is well and maybe he is with someone now! that would be nice.

his facebook, on the other hand – made me feel very old tonight. he doesn’t have much on it. the younger generation do not use fb the way we did in our university years. but his page seems to be full of people that just – vibrate YOUTH and energy. graduation photos. a thrill in life that comes from being – in your early 20s.

i remember being in my early 20s. it was a wonderful time, despite the roller coaster of relationships and emotions, the struggle to find that sweet career spot – it was exciting. we were working, making money, we were attractive and people were attracted to us. there was a lot of vanity. there seemed – so much opportunity for adventure.

it dies down in your 30s – all of those things. i do feel old for saying this. for feeling this. but there you have it.

the start of a new decade and i am feeling old. lol.