can’t help but feel that this isn’t me.

i’m going into an interview in another two hours.

i was miserable yesterday.  psyched. worried. anxious. depressed.  i slept through a lot of the day despite many hours of sleep the night before. i just didn’t want to deal with it. i’ve lost the momentum and it’s hard to stay upbeat interview after interview.  this year’s interviews have been the most intense for me.  and there have already been two jobs that i was really very interested in that passed me up after two rounds of interviews each.  this process is so exhausting. and bouncing back from rejection is never instantaneous.

i looked at myself in the mirror after getting dressed. black blazer & pants, pressed white collar shirt.  i can’t help but feel that this isn’t me.  and that despite all the things i want to do in life, i avoid it. i go the safe route.

i am never quite, being – me.

if this were the case, would you wish me luck for today?