“He can be a little odd at times.”
That’s what he said to me over private message.
I was surprised that he said that to me. As if I might agree, or that I wouldn’t defend. I responded briefly, and didn’t get a message back. That’s ok. It’s all water under the bridge.
It’s happened many times. Where I hear something about someone I know.
I can see why this opinion was formed. But often, I feel that the person in discussion has been misunderstood. That they are a good person, with a big heart, a lot to give and a lot to learn from. And it’s simply that not everyone has been privy to seeing this side of that person.
One time, a name was mentioned, and a face scrunched.
Another time, it was a text that attacked a behavior.
For all these times, and all these people in discussion, I had the same thought. You don’t understand the person you’re talking about. I don’t always explain. I just make note to myself, and keep it at that. I hope that doesn’t come off as the wrong thing to do- that I don’t always defend the people worth defending. But that’s because I don’t always feel that others are out to listen to a different opinion. And if that was the case, I don’t want to waste my breath.
Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong. Maybe I think I understand that person better, but I don’t. But I do feel that there is often more good than wrong. And I believe in the people I care about.
But then, how many times have I also attacked someone with my own words, when it was actually me who didn’t understand?
Probably more often than I want to know.