“mel is getting discharged right now.”
i received this text on whatsapp from mom at 4:12 pm today while on board the canada line, heading to see her. i was so happy. i had been hoping so much that she wouldn’t have needed to spend another weekend there.
i waited at home for two hours. but she had gone to stanley park after getting out of the hospital. i didn’t tell them i had to leave earlier tonight. i wanted her to get the trees, the air, and the sun she had missed out on. we are finally getting a turn in weather in vancouver.
while i was at home, i went through an old photo album labelled 1999-2001. in particular, i was looking for old photos of my sister. i felt the need to go back and take a closer look at the person she was then. and reflect on how none of us were to know that in twenty years time, she would be ensuring this level of trial and tribulation in her life. that her mental health would be shaken. and that we would go on this transition with her, and at the same time- not. because we don’t share a lot of her perspective. i am always there to listen. agreeing though – this is not something i may do. i respect her opinion and her world, but i am not a part of that world.
she was always the adorable one. always the one worth looking at in pictures. she wasn’t like me. who would just show the same, poised smile forever and ever. looking serious. she had emotion all the time. laughing. dancing. being silly. this was my baby sister. was one ever born to bear this much pain?
i know she will be a stronger person through it all. stronger than maybe, any of us. all we can do for now, is remind her we love her. and we will all pray,
i had a coffee with a financial adviser tonight. and then i made myself a salad with fried basa fish. it was delicious. my fifth salad this week.
and so life goes on.